I had a Stroke

Yesterday was a big two week anniversary for me. It was the anniversary of something life changing and something that has left its mark on me forever. Two weeks ago yesterday at 3:34 PM I had a stroke. Over the course of the next two hours it would be the first of at least two strokes that I would have that day. The tests would come to show that the strokes I had that day were not the first ones that I had. There was some damage that was visible in the MRI which is evidence that there was at least one (possibly more) stroke that left its mark on my brain. To make things more interesting the MRI also showed that I had had strokes on both sides of my brain unlike most people who only usually have them on one side. I have had stroke-like symptoms for the last year and a half--though none of the tests has ever shown that I actually had them. I have had several tests done MRI's, EEG's, CT Scans, EKG's, Echos, Sonograms, Ultrasounds, EMG, TEE, and none of them have been able to tell the doctors what was causing my numbness and loss of muscle strength--that is until now. Though it sucks to have had a stroke, now they know what is wrong with me and they can treat it. I am on blood thinners and most likely will be for the rest of my life, and with that comes the weekly blood tests or $20 finger prick to make sure my blood is thin but not to thin. Out of all of this I am more sure today than I was two weeks ago that God has a plan for my life, because what could have disabled me for the rest of my life has indeed left no lasting damage in my body function or brain processes. To not give Him the glory and praise for such a personal miracle would be just silly. He takes care of those who serve Him.

Note To Self: I Am OK

The more I learn about discipleship the more I love God and who He truly is. Two years ago I was chained to my need to climb the corporate ladder and see more zeroes on my paycheck. When I felt God saying it was time to leave my job--the only job I had had since I was 19--I admittedly started panicking. With each confirmation I received that I had heard correctly I challenged the idea even more. I had grown accustomed to the lifestyle that my job had allowed me to lead. I never had to tell myself no if I wanted something. When I finally said OK give me peace and I'll take the step--He did. A job that I loved I was suddenly filled with contempt for. When I thought about the money part of the decision, again I was accustomed to my lifestyle, I was almost instantly filled with peace. The words that gave me the peace that quieted my fears? "You were born in this earth to be the righteousness of God. My word says 'I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed out begging for bread.'" I know now that the reason I had to leave the job I once loved wasn't only because God was calling me, but because it was becoming something that I could have ended up worshipping and serving. I also know now that the more I stayed at that job the closer I was to bringing my life to an early end. I was literally working myself to death. It wasn't until I stopped working that my body was able to tell me just how ill I truly was. It had been living off of ambition and stress. When those two components were gone it was like the tape coming off a broken window pane. A little more than a year and a half of not working and just studying the word of God, and I am still learning my call and my direction I am to follow. I bless God because of His faithfulness, Love and provision. I love him and am truly indebted to Him for His life changing nature. My way to pay off this debt I feel towards Him? Offering my life to Him to with as He pleases. Two years ago I would have said I was nuts. Today I am OK with that. Even more than OK--I am excited. No income coming in right now. But that is OK too. I can honestly say that I have not missed anything. He has truly changed my priorities. The most awesome part about that for me is that the less I have, the more that I have been able to give--and give with faith knowing that my Father is going to take care of me. I know there isn't a need (past, present or future) that my father doesn't know about and that He won't be faithful to provide for. It is amazing to me to think that even if I don't have money or things to give, I will still be able to give something amazing away. Peter taught me that. Acts 3:6 was my lesson: "But Peter said, 'I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, get up and walk!'” I love the verse in The Message too: "Peter said, "I don't have a nickel to my name, but what I do have, I give you: In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!" He grabbed him by the right hand and pulled him up. In an instant his feet and ankles became firm. He jumped to his feet and walked." I don't know why I am writing this today...Maybe for you or maybe it is just a message to myself that I need to read when I get it in my email today. If the second option is the reason then pay attention Mike and keep this message near the top of your email so you can reference it when you need to remind yourself that God is faithful, you are more blessed than you ever thought was possible, you are happier than you ever thought was possible, and of course, you are OK.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

Saturday Morning Worship

I love worship music that moves me. It moves me when it says what I am feeling and helps me to say what I am feeling even better. I love it when I find that song I can play over and over and over and over and I just feel like I am sitting in the throne room of God. This is that song for me right now. It's from a guy named Coffey. Truly gifted and I know his career is gonna take off.

Holy Is The Lamb.m...

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

Healing the Body and the Heart

So often throughout the scriptures we see that Jesus had compassion on people. He allowed them to follow Him, and He ministered to them. He allowed them to interrupt Him, and He heard their needs. He allowed them to touch Him and take what they needed. There were times when He just simply spoke the word and the need (whether it was deliverance, healing, or forgiveness) was met. It wasn't His touch that healed their body or met their physical need or quieted their emotional distress, it was His words. There is so much we can do with our words; we can encourage, we can support, we can correct, we can edify and we can heal with our words. Then again there is only so much that we can do with our words; we can only speak them, they might help someone understand the point we are trying to make but they can never demonstrate the point we are making. If I tell you that I support you or that I forgive you, I might quiet your emotions but there is still something instantaneous lacking in our exchange. But if I say those things to you and then I reach for you and hug you, then I have conveyed physically what I have said verbally. When we take the time to touch we put a physical punctuation mark on our verbal statements. For some that touch is what it takes for them to understand what you have been saying. If I told you I loved you but didn't touch you, would you believe me? If I told you were healed or that I had faith your were healed but wouldn't touch you because you were contagious or had sores, would you believe. Sometimes touch is required for people to finally hear what we have been saying. Touch the untouchable. When we do that we do what our words can't--we heal the heart. When Jesus touched people and took time for people He healed their hearts because oftentimes they were the outcasts of society--the untouchables. Who are the untouchables around you? Are you ready to be His hands, to heal hearts?

Matthew 8:1-3--The leper only wanted the words to heal his body, Jesus said the words, touched him (an untouchable) and He healed his heart too.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

Whirlwind Stop!

I imagine as a whirlwind gets stronger it gets bigger. I don't know for certain, but I picture it getting more devastating as it grows and needs more space to destroy. The headache that won't quit for me is often the result of the the mind that won't rest. When that mind that won't rest does not rest for days on end, the headache that won't quit needs more room to grow into and overflows in my neck and back. That's where I am at today. there is so much going on around me and only some of it is mine. I need to put it all down on paper and attack it one thing at a time. But then the war starts as the things in my head fight to see who is going down on the paper first and then to see which item is going to get crossed off first. I can't take it much more the whirlwind stops tonight. I need rest.

The Fog

Some days I feel like I am maneuvering through the fog. I don't know where I am going, the road may seem familiar, but I cannot be certain for sure if it is. Though I may have been down the road before I still move apprehensively not knowing if something new will be in my path. I travel uncertain of what lies in the whiteness that is in front of me, separating me from my destination. The blessing in moving through the fog is that I am moving at all. That I still get up and move through the fog without having to fight myself is a miracle in itself. That is progress in my discipleship walk, I think. Discipleship is allowing yourself to be led blindly to someone else's purpose for your life, at least the faith part is. Thank God for foggy days and the revelation that comes with them.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!

Mike

Loving the Right Way

I was reading in Philippians chapter one this morning about loving each other. In The Message version of verses 9-11 it says it so well that I am sure I will be thinking about it all morning.

9-11So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God.

You know it is great to love people and to be all lovey and stuff like that in church, but is it sincere or is it the sentimental gush that Paul mentions here. I understand what it is saying to use your head and to test your feelings so that the love I share is sincere. Reading that this morning has me going mentally through each of my relationships with people and testing my feelings. Is my love for that person sincere or is it a basket full of sentimental gush? It is truly my heart's desire to be able to say that I love people sincerely and intelligently. I want to be able to say that not only do I love much, but I love well.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

Walking Through Philippians

I am reading through the book of Philippians tonight. I have read through this book times before, but tonight there is just so much that is jumping out at. I love how faithful God is. It always seems that I am in a spot in my life where I am crying out for a good word of comfort or direction and He always takes me to His word and gives it to me. I mean I can have read the passage over and over and over again a hundred times before and then read it when He leads me and it is like I am reading it for the first time thinking "I didn't know this is what it said!" He really is faithful to meet me right where I am at.

One of my favorite verses is in the first chapter of Philippians. 1:6 (NLT) "And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns." I like it in The Message version as well: "There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears. "

I like the verse in the NLT because it uses the word "finally." The word finally, to me, represents the fact there was a process involved in the undertaking of some task that had to be completed. To me it gives justice to the fact that most processes involve work that sometimes includes struggle. I know that the work that Jesus has begun in me has been a struggle at times, especially when it involved me changing. Change is not an easy thing for me, especially when I had to learn to redo things in my life after I had been decades doing them the wrong way. I had to learn to trust my destiny and life to someone else that I couldn't see. If that doesn't involve struggle then I am not sure what would.

I like the verse in The Message because it has a more celebratory feel to it. It tells of a "flourishing finish" to the work that Jesus has begun in us. When we have accomplished all that we have been called to accomplish, or we have been found faithfully working to accomplish what we have been called to accomplish when Jesus returns we will be greeted with a "flourishing finish" to our work--a celebration for a life time of work that has been successfully completed. I also like this version because it is more definitive in the words it uses to describe the author's certainty of the fact of Jesus' faithfulness to watch over His work in us. "There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind..." sounds more secure in the knowledge of a fact than simply "I am certain..." To me the first method of explaining certainty is more emphatic than the second.

Beyond the wording of the verse in the two different versions, it is one of my favorite verses simply for what it says. It says that Jesus has made an investment in our lives, and just like any good investor, He is going to diligently watch the investment to make sure it accomplishes what it is supposed to. His investment is going to achieve the purpose He had planned for it. It is exciting to me to think that Jesus believes in me that much and that He cares about my success in His kingdom enough to personally watch over what I have been called to do. When I stumble He doesn't sell all the shares He has invested in me, but rather He redirects them to get me back on track to make me profitable again.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

My Sunday....Downtown Disney

We celebrated my niece Rebekah's Birthday this past Sunday at Downtown Disney. She celebrated with all of her cousins at Libby Lu and then walked Downtown Disney until it was time for lunch at The Rainforest Cafe. I was lucky enough to be able to share the time with them and my Canon Rebel XTi. Here is the little video I put together from the pictures I took that day. Enjoy--we did!!




Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike

Matthew 18:3 Revisited

I just finished a post with Matthew 18:3. I think it was more of a mind clearing than a post. I needed to get that all out of my head before I could post what I was really thinking on that verse. Here it is in the NIV :3 "Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven." And now in The Message(v2-5): "For an answer Jesus called over a child, whom he stood in the middle of the room, and said, "I'm telling you, once and for all, that unless you return to square one and start over like children, you're not even going to get a look at the kingdom, let alone get in. Whoever becomes simple and elemental again, like this child, will rank high in God's kingdom. What's more, when you receive the childlike on my account, it's the same as receiving me. "

Think of a little child. Innocent. Pure. Trusting. Loyal. Naive. Ignorant. Those last two descriptors aren't meant to be to mean spirited--they are meant to be positive and in the same light as the first two adjectives. The innocence and purity of the whole becoming like a child thing really isn't as hard as it may seem. Dedication, will power and self discipline can all lead to those things if they are applied to our lives. The parts that seem almost unattainable are the trusting, loyalty, naivete, and ignorance. How is that we are supposed to become like a child in these situations. How do you unlearn hurt, pride, anger, and fear? How do you learn to trust when you have been let down so many times before? Beyond that, how do you learn to trust someone and something you can't see? How do you unlearn the outcomes to situations you have played out in your life time and time again? How do you rely on someone to take care of you when you have fended for yourself for so long? These questions are the battleground that has to be crossed before someone can become like a child again.

The Message version breaks it down nicely. It says we have to become "simple and elemental" again. Childhood broken down to its elements. That's tough. I can tell you I would love to be there completely. I would love to be at that point in my life right now. I am ready to resign from being an adult. Just when I think I have reached that point though, something comes up in my life when I feel the need to become the navigator and all mighty in my life again. I feel at times like a hypocrite because it is almost as I know what it says in the Word and I can preach it and believe it for you, but when it comes to me I always miss the mark. It's normal, I know. But I am not one for normal I want to be extraordinary. Really at this point in my life I just want to know God is in charge and be content with it. I want to be able to resist the urge to take control back because I don't feel things are going the right way or going fast enough for me. I want the childlike faith I know exists in me to be the only faith I have and live. Pray for me and I'll pray for you because I know I am not the only one.

Be Blessed and Be a Blessing!
Mike